‘The only way we are going to tackle domestic abuse safely is for people to talk about it more’

With International Women’s Day on Sunday 8 March, it seems timely to spotlight the work of Stroud Women’s Refuge

Founded in 1977, the Stroud Women’s Refuge is incredibly the only women’s refuge in Gloucestershire, offering a vital sanctuary for women and children fleeing from domestic abuse.

Women’s Aid defines domestic abuse “as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence”.

Unfortunately, this sort of crime is far too common.

Data from the Crime Survey for England and Wales indicates that from March 2024 to March 2025 there were an estimated 3.8 million victims of domestic abuse – 2.2 million were women. Shockingly, one in four women in England and Wales will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.  

In Gloucestershire, crimes tagged as domestic abuse accounted for 19% of all crimes reported to the police last year, but these are only the ones that are reported - domestic abuse crimes are often not reported. Even more worryingly, recent government reports and findings highlight that suicide is now the leading cause of death linked to domestic abuse, surpassing homicide in reviewed cases.

Ellen, Service Manager at Stroud Women’s Refuge, discusses how domestic abuse causes fear, feelings of being unsafe, a loss of confidence, a loss of self-esteem and identity and an inability live a life with which you have any control over.

She says: “I think there’s a lot of fear around ‘if I disclose it, what will happen to me’ and in terms of safety and also what people will think of me if this is happening to me.

“For women to leave it’s really dangerous, so I think there is still some sort of stigma around it because of their job, because of their community and because of fear of what they might lose -such as their children or their home or their financial security. So, it’s really difficult to know just how much domestic abuse we are seeing.

“Domestic abuse can definitely affect anybody. We have women from every social class, every belief system”

Ellen has worked at Stroud Women’s Refuge for eight years. There is a staff team of seven and eight ‘friends’ who volunteer as The Friends of Stroud Women’s Refuge. Their two refuges can house up to nine families overall, but they always have far more referrals, so end up having to turn people away. Since opening in 1977 though, Ellen estimates that the refuge has supported thousands of women and children in need.

The team supports the women who come to them to live independently, which can include getting involved in work training and helping with employment, as well as joining community groups that they might want to get involved in. They also support women on an outreach basis and run group work in the community through ‘Next Steps’ where the focus is on moving forwards, looking what their future might look like, building confidence, self-esteem - all things that can be eroded by domestic abuse.

Ellen says: “Domestic abuse can definitely affect anybody. We have women from every social class, every belief system because it can impact anyone and that is the biggest thing that I think we’re aware of.

However, she says that there are still some women in Gloucestershire who are disproportionately affected because they face intersecting forms of inequality such as racism, disability, poverty, insecure immigration status or discriminations based on gender identity. As a result, these women can face additional barriers which impact their ability to receive support.

“Examples could be in relation to so-called ‘honour-based’ abuse where there are sometimes multiple-risk people impacting a person’s ability to leave or seek support; another example could be disability where someone is relying on care from an adult who is also perpetrating abuse.

“We support a number of women each year who are affected by insecure immigration status and this does impact on the ability of someone to leave and the resources they have available to them.”

She also observes that women are currently experiencing more financial control because the world is an expensive place to live and so, perhaps it’s more difficult to move away from that relationship for financial reasons. Digital technology is also playing a big part in the way that perpetrators control individuals.

So, what can be done?

In terms of what individuals can do and how they can help, Ellen advises increasing our own understanding of what domestic abuse is to support the victim. She also recommends the ‘Bystander’ programme which can offer support with how you would interact with someone in that situation. See the links below for more details.

“Readers can support by knowing about the services we offer as you many never know when someone may need the help of a domestic abuse service.”

She adds: “The only way we are going to tackle domestic abuse safely is for people to talk about domestic abuse more, so that it’s not a subject that people are too scared or too worried about to raise. The more it becomes a common subject, then the more it becomes something that shouldn’t happen.”

At an organisational level, how does she think that the VCSE sector can support women more effectively?

“I think potentially sharing knowledge that we have, so we work with domestic abuse, but it could be sharing what you know about financial abuse, for instance, or housing. Sharing skills, sharing knowledge, sharing information.”

On a slightly more positive note, the women who seek refuge with Ellen’s team often forge strong bonds and lasting friendships - their shared experiences help them understand what each person has been through and how that might feel enabling them to support each other.

Ellen says: “If you see women who’ve experienced domestic abuse, they often feel that they’re at fault and that they’re to blame. The children have been impacted as well – they’re quite withdrawn and quite quiet.

“Yet when they leave our services – whether it’s outreach or the refuge – they have more confidence and are talking, smiling and connecting with each other as a community. Just to see that growth in people – that is the best.”  

Show your support

If you’d like to support women and children who are experiencing domestic abuse, then can we point you in the direction of Stroud Women’s Refuge website to find out ways to give.

Find out more about the Bystander Programmes

The University of Worcester has a useful page on Bystander Intervention. Lead the Change, based on Active Bystander Communities work, was the first evidence-led bystander intervention programme in the UK. The Hollie Gazzard Trust offers various workshops for schools and colleges to empower young people to have the confidence to spot the signs of abuse and support others.